I think the hardest part of growing up is facing the fact that things are no longer the same as it was before. I was assessing my hard drive just now to pick some pictures from the old albums for my blog. As I opened folder by folder, I couldn’t enjoy looking at it. The longer I browse, the sadder I felt. So, I closed the folder and unattached the hard drive from my laptop. Then I started to question myself. Why do I feel this sad and lonely?
My fingers starting to type all the words that I had in mind. But as I went on, I felt that I was being completely selfish, unfair and egocentric to someone. So, I paused and pondered. Instead of typing the negative words, I deleted it and rewrite this post again.
You see — we all have options in life. As I’m writing this down, I am also telling myself that you have the option to choose whether to look at your life negatively or to focus on the positive aspects of it. What difference will it make? Many.
Just like other people, I do have my ups and downs in life. For now, I think I’m on the latter. The problems that I’m facing now are very personal. I was miserable beyond words a few days ago. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore so I reached out to someone so dear to me. As we talked, I felt like none of my problems really exist. Slowly it vanished into thin air. But really – what stopped me was when I think about how he wanted me to let go of the past, be happy and go through every obstacle together this time. The fact that I have someone who would invest his time and do anything to make me happy has helped to release the tension I felt earlier. The fact that there are still a portion of happiness left in my life is what helps changing my mind.
My point here is not everything in life is negative. If you choose to look at things using the wrong lens, you will see all the negative sides of your life. The worst thing is if you zoom in a lot longer, you will get too caught up with all the negativities. The mind is in control of everything, including our emotions. The more negative you think, the bitter you will feel on the inside and the uglier you will experience on the outside.
I think I’m very grateful that I have chosen to write this post today. I have realised now that while I’m being tested with difficulties, I’m also being blessed by Him in so many different ways. Alhamdulillah. I thought I couldn’t go through this. But the longer I let my problems unattended, the longer I will be stucked in this mess. From now on, I am choosing to let go of the past for good this time and ready to move forward with my life!
I don’t know what to expect but whatever that is, it will be interesting. Insha’Allah.
